So yeah, I started playing Skyrim at about 7ish and it's now 11:48. I'm about 4 and a half Cidres in(see-dra, not psy-der) and I've just beaten a mountain goat to death with a mace. The way it's lifeless corpse fell down the side of the cliff? Funny as fuck. Having never played an Elder Scrolls game before, this is quite an experience, I'm currently wondering around some mountain. I had a horse but that died when I rode it off the ledge into some spiky rocks.
I've been given an assistant type person called Lydia and she's all like "yeah!" and "let's do that". I like her attitude, she'll go far in this business if she keeps it up. There was some bint earlier on in the game who can fucking well die for all I care. I had to follow her to something and she was walking so fucking slow, I tried to talk to her but she was all like "I've got nothing to say to you" and "mind your own business." Yo bitch! I spent forty quid on this game; anything that happens is my fucking business. I mean really, the nerve of some people... And then - because she was rude and I was bored - I hit her with my shield. Then she killed me and I had to start the whole thing again.
And then I lost her! I was like "hey! Where'd you go?". She didn't answer.
One critisism of this game though: What's with the playable character's stamina, I can run for much longer than that. And I'm unfit.
HAHAHAH
I just kicked a wolf in the face and smacked it over the head with a mace. I love this game! 10 out of 10!
Showing posts with label games. Show all posts
Showing posts with label games. Show all posts
Friday, 11 November 2011
Wednesday, 2 December 2009
DOSing about
I remember being a kid, my parents had a computer with Windows 95 - it was the most amazing thing ever. Well, for the time anyway - it's shite by today's standards. Anyway, I remember my dad had gotten a bunch of floppy disk games on the cheap for some reason. Most of them either didn't work - or were rubbish but there was one game that I played a lot. Probably One of the first games that I played religiously...
Fucking 'Jill of the Jungle'!
Look at that sexy pixelated bitch - she fucks the shit outta Samus Aran!
I'd forgotten the game existed (to an extent) until today when I had a brainwave - I started by searching for "Jane of the Jungle". There's no such thing. Then something saying "Jill of the Jungle" came up. THAT WAS IT! As it turns out, Jill of the Jungle was an early release by Epic - the games company behind Gears of War. They've come a long way.
I decided to download a DOS emulator (because apparently, Command Prompt just isn't good enough) and a freeware version(or was it a shareware version) of Jill Of the Jungle. After a wee bit of re-learning how to open programs using commands, I had the game up and running, it was glorious. All the sound effects where there to remind me of my youth - the high pitched noise fire-birds make when they fly into something, the sinister laughing that happens whenever Jill dies - it's all there. After about half an hour, I'd completed the game. It was totally worth all the hard work. I then went to see what other DOS games were out there for me to get my hands on. I've got a few so far including "a demonstration version of the forthcoming game 'Lemmings' from Psygnosis."
Fucking 'Jill of the Jungle'!
Look at that sexy pixelated bitch - she fucks the shit outta Samus Aran!
I'd forgotten the game existed (to an extent) until today when I had a brainwave - I started by searching for "Jane of the Jungle". There's no such thing. Then something saying "Jill of the Jungle" came up. THAT WAS IT! As it turns out, Jill of the Jungle was an early release by Epic - the games company behind Gears of War. They've come a long way.
I decided to download a DOS emulator (because apparently, Command Prompt just isn't good enough) and a freeware version(or was it a shareware version) of Jill Of the Jungle. After a wee bit of re-learning how to open programs using commands, I had the game up and running, it was glorious. All the sound effects where there to remind me of my youth - the high pitched noise fire-birds make when they fly into something, the sinister laughing that happens whenever Jill dies - it's all there. After about half an hour, I'd completed the game. It was totally worth all the hard work. I then went to see what other DOS games were out there for me to get my hands on. I've got a few so far including "a demonstration version of the forthcoming game 'Lemmings' from Psygnosis."
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