shitty art dreams

So... you may or may not have noticed that I posted a new volume of 'Martin's Messed up dreams', you didn't? Oh fuck you then! I try and I try but it's never good enough for you, maybe I should just hang myself as I write this post! Would that make you happy!?!? Would it?!

Wow, I seem to have gone off on a bit of a self-destructive tangent there. Never mind, I was just blogging to say that I've added MS Paint illustrations to all my messed up dreams posts. I just thought it would make them seem that much more real. My dreams are often in the style of a small child (and/or kinda simple adult) using paint.

You can see all of the *cough* artwork here

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 6 - The Late Late Breakfast Show With Bill Bailey

Some dreams are just fragments of he past day mixed together to form images in your head... well most are. But the other night I had a dream that - to be quite honest - is one of the greatest ideas ever to be concieved(Though that's what I said about the girl with a massive toenail).

Picture this...

Bill Bailey walking along a suburban street in the late evening, he's in a dressing gown and has a newspaper under his arm, as he walks along people (some famous, some not famous) all who wave and say hi to him. He walks upto a flat, there are 2 front doors - each for different flats. A man is at the door on the right and Bill goes to the one on the left. They share a glance before going into their respective flats, the camera follows the man on the right as he enters the flat and turns on the tv. The camera then zooms into the TV to reveal Bill, dressed the same as he was outside holding the same news paper walking into a studio living room with a live audience. A voiceover says "It's the Late, Late Breakfast Show with Bill Bailey!". Bill then procedes to read vairous topical news stories from the paper and makes jokes about them. At one point, he's going to do a cook along with a complicated recipie and make a mess all over his dressing gown which he then takes off to reveal another Dressing gown under it. It'll be comedy gold.

Another Post About What I'm Watching On TV

I hate Philip Scolefield. Always have done. That silver haird fucker. He probably has sex with kids. Not children, but goats. Some times he kills the goats and fucks ghosgoats. That sick fuck. Oh christ, there's a blonde bimbo on TV who's already refered to herself as "crazy" and has claimed to be doing it to "prove that not all blonds are ditzy". That's possibly the quickest I've learned to hate someone. She just fucked her challenge up - Ditzy bitch.

I'm watching the cube by the way. Charlie Brooker mentioned it in an article that Leggat sent me, I've been watching a lot of screenwipe lately(Which you should totally watch by the way.). It's well good.

Hogan knows... best?

There's a Hulk Hogan film on BBC2. He's got a simmilar acting style to Dean Learner in garth marenghi's darkplace - in that he can't act. The main difference is, he's not acting like he can't act. He can't act. Luckily for the Hulkster, everyone else in this film is bad at acting. There's a parrot that can talk. I don't mean saying the same things over and over again, I mean it can speak full conversations with people. Real parrots don't do that. At one point, a bunch of prople were trying to push a car out of the sand, no one could. Then Hogan comes along and pushes it out himself. He's like a kids' TV version of Arnie.

All the bad guys in this film seem to be black. Maybe Hulk Hogan's a little racist.

Now we're gonna play 'spot the Alan Partridge reference'

The mystical adventures of ghost toilet and the phantom shits

Episode 1. In the bath

What's this? A week without any posts and now 2 posts in one day!??! What will I do next?

A few weeks ago, Simmo mentioned the Matt Berry/Rich Fuller (That might be the wrong spelling, I don't care enough to check) sketch show; Snuff Box via twitter (which by the way, if you haven't got it yet, you're a loser. Get with the times - before it gets comercialised and crap like Facebook and Bebo.). As a seemingly direct result, I decided to watch the series in it's entirety. It was pretty good.

I haven't blogged in over a week :O

Why the fuck am I watching Channel 5? You know it's bad when Trisha is the best thing on TV. Oh now House is on, I've never watched it before. Wow, Hugh Lorrie is just as annoying as an American as he is as Percy from Blackadder. At least Blackadder's funny.

Anyway, as the title of this post tells you, I haven't blogged in over a week... colon oh. I'm going to the Red Cross shop in a couple of hours to volunteer... or find out about volunteering... or to steal stuff. Probably not the latter though.

Wow, House just made a joke about Germans taking there anger out on the Jews. It's not even mid-day yet!

I think I could get into this whole 'House' program.