Thursday, 17 June 2010

21 In 5(58) days

Yup - In 5 days, I'll be 21. I'm gonna get absolutely fucked. Possibly in a suit. Maybe not. But one thing's for sure. It'll be my birthday. Take that society! You Nazis!

Maybe when I'm 21, I'll stop calling people who aren't actually Nazis; Nazis. Probably not. I like calling people Nazis. You Nazi!

On the subject of fascism, still hasn't got anything on it. Leggat tells me he's doing stuff but... well... chop chop Leggat. Chop chop.

So yeah, drinking on Monday and Leggat's blog. That's basically what this post's been about. There's 5 minutes you'll never see again.

Monday, 14 June 2010

Unexpected Christmas Albums Vol2 - Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin XII days of Christmas

Release Date: 25/12/72
Track Listing
1. Stairway To Christmas
2. Whole Lotta Lovely presents
3. The Snow Song
4. Jingle Bell Rock And Roll
5. Christmas in Middle Earth
6. Bron-Yr-xmas

Following the success of Led Zeppelin I(1969), Led Zeppelin II(1969), Led Zeppelin III(1970) and Led Zeppelin IV(1971). Led Zeppelin Guitarist Jimmy page decided that it was only right for the band to spend 1972 recording and releasing 8 more numbered Led Zeppelin albums. None of his band members thought it would be possible apart from bassist John-Paul Jones who egged Jimmy on saying that he should probably give each album a "quirky" subtitle. The first was January's Led Zeppelin V Live which wasn't - as the title suggests - a live album. Second was March's Led Zeppelin VI days 'till Easter - so called because of Easter happening 6 days after it was released. They then did Led Zeppelin VII th seal(May), Led Zeppelin 55 VIII - AKA The worst album ever recorded(June), Led Zeppelin IX tynine red balloons(August), Led Zeppelin X Y Z(October), Led Zeppelin XI th month of the year(November) and finally Led Zeppelin XII days of Christmas Which - because of a Christmas day release date - failed to sell well because everywhere was closed. Because No shops were open to receive the albums, the vast majority of the records perished due to the winterly weather.

Fun Fact: The cover featured the same painting - belonging to Robert Plant - as on The Band's fourth album but it had been modified to look more festive by Jimmy Page. This really pissed off Robert Plant.

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Unexpected Christmas Albums Vol1 - NWA Straight Outta Crimbo

Release Date: 18/12/89
Track Listing
1. Jingle Mutha-Fuckin' Bells
2. Merry X-mas Everybody (is Gunna Die)
3. Express Yourself (Festive version)
4. Black Christmas
5. Rudolph the Red Nosed Nigga
6. Fuck Tha Cavalry
7. Happy Xmas (War Is Only Just Beginning)
8. Homey it's Cold Outside
9. Fuck Tha Halls
10. Santa Clause is Coming To Compton (And We Gonna Shoot His White Ass)

The year was 1988 and NWA were feeling festive. Their 'crib' was all decorated and they had a Christmas tree so big that it could be seen from all over the ghetto. You could barely move for all the tinsel. With a mince pie in his hand and one of those hats you get out of Christmas crackers on his head, Ice Cube turned to Dr Dre and said "Yo man, let's make a Christmas album" and Dr Dre - giddy with excitement replied with "fuck yeah!". Within an hour, the whole group were there in the recording studio and by the end of the week, they had recorded what would later become Straight outta Crimbo. Unfortunately, one man stood in their way. Salvador Dali. Dali refused to believe that there was such thing as Christmas in the hood and so used his powerful mind control tricks that he'd picked up during a trip to madrid to stop the album's release. NWA pleaded with him to let the release go ahead but he simply came back to them with "Over my dead Body". As it happens, Salvidor Dali was very ill at this point and died of heart failure in January 1989. This gave the group the best part of a year to make Straight Outta Crimbo the best Christmas album ever. And boy did they succeed!

Fun fact: The cover for this album shows Dr Dre wearing his famous Santa beard which he'd go on to wear every day in December - every year until Eminem chainsawed it off of his face in 2001. Dre hasn't spoken about it since.