Jesus - in clothes hanger form!

I was just doing some course work when all of a sudden I came across this...


I loled

Let'sco To Tesco

I haven't had a lot of photos on my blog lately, That's because my phone (with its built in camera) won't charge. No charge = no phone. No phone = no phone camera. No phone camera = no picture of when tesco mistook a 360 version of Assassin's creed 2 for a PS3 version (the opposite of what Jonny D did.). No picture of when... well you get the picture - or not - as the case may be.

Anyway, I bought new deodorant the other night. I chose the stuff I did because it was cheaper than Africa (the deodorant, not the continent) and as it (actually it was still cheaper than the continent - much cheaper than the continent in fact. Ignore that bit about it not being cheaper than the continent of Africa.) turns out, it smelled nicer than Africa too(The deodorant, I've never smelled the continent). I also bought a woolly hat for £3 - just so my ears don't freeze off. that cold weather should be illegal or something.

While I was in Tesco buying hats and deodorant, I saw 2 people down the isle. They looked familiar, in fact they looked a lot like... Holy shit it was Billy and Jonny!. Surprise doesn't really work in the past tense, it just makes it look like I only realised it was them just now. Which I didn't! Jonny was drunk and wanted to be sick in the 'Tesco finest' section. And Billy was... well Billy. He got cigarettes.

It's probably been posted up here before, but here's a picture of Billy smoking...

Ho ho ho-ly shit it's nearly Christmas!

Less that 2 weeks 'till Christmas and I've bought like no presents. I got * **** ***** ****** for ******* and some other stuff for ***** ******. But that's about it. GOOD JOB I LIVE IN THE CITY CENTRE! I can't move for all the shops. Well I can but I usually just move into another shop - usually Debanhams. Google Chrome's spell checker lists "Debanhams" as a spelling error, it offers Clydebank as a possible correction. Stupid internet...

As I type this, I'm watching the snooker semi-final match. O'Sullivan versus Higgans. It's exciting. O'Sullivan just had one of those "ohhh-ahhh" type moments. But then he had a brilliant fluke and potted the yellow.

oooh, Higgans just had a massive miss.

Anyway, I leave you with this piece of brillience.

Enjoy...

DOSing about

I remember being a kid, my parents had a computer with Windows 95 - it was the most amazing thing ever. Well, for the time anyway - it's shite by today's standards. Anyway, I remember my dad had gotten a bunch of floppy disk games on the cheap for some reason. Most of them either didn't work - or were rubbish but there was one game that I played a lot. Probably One of the first games that I played religiously...



Fucking 'Jill of the Jungle'!

Look at that sexy pixelated bitch - she fucks the shit outta Samus Aran!

I'd forgotten the game existed (to an extent) until today when I had a brainwave - I started by searching for "Jane of the Jungle". There's no such thing. Then something saying "Jill of the Jungle" came up. THAT WAS IT! As it turns out, Jill of the Jungle was an early release by Epic - the games company behind Gears of War. They've come a long way.
I decided to download a DOS emulator (because apparently, Command Prompt just isn't good enough) and a freeware version(or was it a shareware version) of Jill Of the Jungle. After a wee bit of re-learning how to open programs using commands, I had the game up and running, it was glorious. All the sound effects where there to remind me of my youth - the high pitched noise fire-birds make when they fly into something, the sinister laughing that happens whenever Jill dies - it's all there. After about half an hour, I'd completed the game. It was totally worth all the hard work. I then went to see what other DOS games were out there for me to get my hands on. I've got a few so far including "a demonstration version of the forthcoming game 'Lemmings' from Psygnosis."

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 8 - Poo in a sink

Probably one of the most messed up dreams I've ever had.

Waking up within the dream, I'm told that in the previous night, I'd gotten very drunk and shat in a sink. It wasn't just any sink, it was a sink in a posh hotel type place. I had to go there and clean it. Everyone there was very nice - considering I did a shit in their sink. Though as it turned out, there was a lot of suspicion that it hadn't been me. I was just a scape-goat! Towards the end, things got strange as a bunch of internet phenomenons that don't actually exist started popping up.

I hope you die you pen-hogging bitch!

So anyway, I was in a lecture the other morning but I didn't have a pen to sign the register with. It was first thing on a Monday morning - I'm not exactly Mr organised am I? So when the girl next to me passed the signing sheet thing I asked if I could borrow her pen so that I could sign it. "No". She fucking said no! What a stuck up bitch! Who the fuck says no to letting someone use a pen to sign their name on a register?!? Did she think I was going to run away with it or something? I mean how can such stuck up cunts make it that far in life?

Maybe she mis-heard me or something and thought I was asking if I could kill her or rape her mum or something. But probably not. I hope her pen kills her or at least leaks in her pockets - that would fucking teach her!

In other news, I have no internet. That's right, I'm blogging in public. It's like I'm fucking French!

(they probably blog in public)

Anyway, it's been great blogging again - even if no one reads this - which is likely to be the case.

My 100th post

Yay. 100 posts. I fucking rule.

Happy face.

That post that I said I'd do today...

My nail-clippers are in Dundee.
Unfortunately, I am not.
I hate typing with long finger nails. It just feels wrong. But hey! You haven't come onto my blog to hear about my poor self-grooming - that's probably something people say - you're here to... uh, um I, I, I'm not sure why you're here. I don't even know why I'm here - story of my life.

The next part of this post can be found on my new games-related blog; Gamer-soup

Anyway, enough of that shameless plug.

Debenhams, Debenhams, Debenhams, actors, Debenhams; it's fucking massive. There's a Game in it. That's a shop within a shop within a shopping centre! And to top it all off, I think my gay flatmate Johnny might fancy me, the other day I caught him sniffing a pair of

Update Needed

Christ, it's been weeks since I've updated this... fuckin' rental blog.


I'm going home tomorrow so I'll blog then... promise!

God Bless Female Masturbation

What a day, I was just volunteering at my local British Red Cross shop today(because I'm great like that), when a women came in. She was the dodgy looking, jakey, junky type but because it's Dundee, that's pretty common. She took her black jacket off and put it on the floor, then took a white jacket off the shelf, and tried it on. She stepped into the changing room, looked at herself with the jacket on in the mirror and then took it off. She then carried the jacket around the shop as she looked around. I went for a break at this point and then; "Martin, did you serve that woman?". I hadn't. Turns out she stole the jacket. We tried to see if she was along the road. No sign of her. She was gone; or so we thought. We then saw that she was in the British Heart Foundation next door. I told the manager about the women but by then, she'd left the shop. Where was next? Someone else from the red cross shop saw her go into Ann Summers.
It seemed like she'd gotten away. A guy I was working with chose this as the time to cash a cheque he'd gotten earlier so he left the shop - only to return a second later; "Guess who I just saw getting escorted into Ann Summers by a police officer.". That made everyone's day. As it turns out, She'd stolen a couple of vibrators from there last Friday so they had her on CCTV and someone pressed the Panic button.

The white jacket will be returned to the shop and the scummy bitch has been arrested.

"that's not a set of bongos, it's just a small table shaped like bongos"

Well well well, look at me, half past midnight on a Friday night (or Saturday morning if you're being pedantic.) and I'm sitting on my own in the living-room of my flat - feeling kinda tired. At 20 years of age, I should be out at a club getting drunk and partying. But instead I'm sitting on my sofa (kinks song) and posting on my blog whilst pointing out all of my accidental Kinks references. Just added the word 'blog' to the Google chrome spell checker. Apparently I have to add 'Google' as well...



Adding words to the spell checker dictionary, THAT'S HOW I'M SPENDING MY FRIDAY NIGHT... or Saturday morning to be precise.

Two drunk girls are walking around on the other side of the road, they're laughing. Looks like they're having a good time. I bet I'll live longer than them. It'll certainly seem that way. Especially if I spend all my Friday nights like this. I might read a book later... yeah, that'll be good.

Maybe I'm nackered because it's been the first week of actual work at uni... I say actual work, lectures aren't exactly hard labour are they? Still, getting up in the morning is shite. I'm getting Tuesday and Wednesday off this week, after that it might just be Tuesdays I get off - hopefully not.

I broke 200 Tweets on Twitter today - just to keep my cool streak going.

On a brighter note... Last weeks Peep Show (first in the series) was mediocre to say the least, and this weeks episode? This week's episode was so good that me and Leggat hugged. Not in a gay way or anything... a manly hug *grunt* and a manly kiss...

Not so fresh now! Are we!?!?!?

So Freshers week - freshotpospher - freshipeshipopy - Freshers week. Abertay's freshers week is almost over. I've met like 2 freshers. I supose the only reason I met more last year was because I was living with them but... blueargh who cares?

Another thing about last year was that I didn't have swine flu, well I don't have swine flu right now (probably) but I do have a cough that's been going on for 2 weeks. *cough*

Freshers week its self has been pretty shite this year. The Pub quiz was on at 5:30. Who the fuck goes to a pub quiz at 5:30. Not us, we went at half 8. And were late. There was the school Disco thing where you had to go in school uniform. What kinda school makes you wear a uniform to a disco - Though saying that, if a girl dressed as slutty as that at my school, they would've been sent home. I'm not complaining - I'm just saying - not exactly accurate is it?

There was a special celebrity guest... I say celebrity, it was Sree from Big Brother. I don't know him either, all I know is that you had to pay to have your photo taken with him - and for some reason, some people did.

Now here's what should've been the theme tune to the last Bond film

Flat 8 = yay

Just looking at a message at the bottom of the page "Draft autosaved at 14:14" I haven't typed anything yet and already my blog is saving the post. Now that's over-protective!

Anyway, Exactly 1 year ago today I moved into Alloway halls - it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. brb food. I just put some toast on, by the end of this post, I'll probably have eaten it. Though Toast does remind me of Alloway, Me and Gary used to always eat Toast - it's just one of the ways we bonded. And of course there's Simmo, the Flat 8er who's most likely to be reading this (Hi Simmo). Grant (Persh) might read it, though that may be a long shot, He wasn't there last night in the union when we were all rocking out to Journey so I'm going to post a picture of him naked onto the internet



What a guy - hung like a horse.

Simmo wasn't there last night but I don't have any pictures of him naked, I think I was the only person who wasn't there when he was all naked and stuff.

How could a post about flat8... or about anything not mention the notorious DTI. Danny was purely Terryiffic (his surname was Terry - still, it's a pretty Terryble pun). When you watch the Matrix with Danny, you don't just finnish there, you go back the next day and watch The Matrix Reloded - Then the Beverly Hills Cop Trillogy - Then the Matrix Revolutions (we couldn't go straight from Reloaded to Reveloutions because Gary Was borrowing it so Beverly HIlls Cop 1,2 and 3 kept us going until he got up for work.

To describe Alloway in one word, I'd have to say "Braw". Fife volcabuary courtesy of Mr William O'neil - The man, the myth, the goal-keeper. he once made the mistake of leaving his bedroom door open and going away for the weekend...



We just happened to have few cups lying around...

The cups idea actually belonged to the oldest member of Flat 8; Stephan (I forgot your Middle name) Mcginley (I think that's how it's spelled). Known worldwide for his big Tattoo and his half hour wanks, Stephan is the kind of guy I can talk about doing things with 'Nazi German bints' with for hours.

Last but certainly not least - Lee 'the python' Malcolm. He knows who Mr Boom is and so do I. In a way we're kindred spirits - though I think we all know that Lee's only going to have one true love...













(Gordon, not the sheep)

This day, September 14th shall forever be known as international 'Flat 8' day. Rejoyce!

*cough*

I've got a bit of a bad cough at the moment. *cough*

See, I just coughed. Cough medicine doesn't seem as strict as paracetimals. Sure, I'm only meant to have 10mls but if I take 20 - I probably won't die - And there's nothing stopping me from using bennilynn AND Buttercup!

*cough*

I'll make a better blog-post later

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 7 a cheesy murder mystery

Last night, I had one of those "midsummer murders" dreams. But it was darker. Some girl had managed to leave clues about who murdered her and where she'd been burried. Oh yeah, the girl had been murdered by the way. There had been other bodies found but no one knew who'd done it. The girl had been burried under a shed from within the shed, the evidence that showed the police this was in the form of grated cheese... it was a green cheese. Grated by the murder victim herself!

Good Deeds

I was in Tesco earlier and on my way out I saw a man going to get a trolly. It's been raining steadily all day so the trollies were all wet, my one was dry because I took it from one of the few sheltered trolly areas and I'd also just done a load of shopping (well one bag's worth). I said to him "here have mine, it's probably drier than the other ones." (or something like that) and he said "thanks" (or it might've been "thank you", he at least used some word(s) to express grattitude). I thought to myself 'there's my good deed for the day.

But then I remembered that I'd done 3 and a half hours of volunteer work for the British Red Cross earlier. I'd destroyed the good/evil balance in the world.

And that's why I drowned that kitten.

Oh Shit...

I think we all know what this means...


rip internet

Recreational Cricket is Criminal!

I was just on twitter (join it if you haven't) when I noticed I had some new followers. Hmm,who's this? I'll read the Bio "The Lord’s Taverners is one of the UK’s leading youth sports and disability charities and the official charity of recreational cricket."

How can recreational cricket have an official charity!?!?


Also, Recently there was a film about bank robber John Dillinger called Public Enimies. It starred Johnny Depp, but after seeing a picture of The real John Dillinger...



I've got to say, I don't think Johnny Depp looks like him.

Though... if Dillinger were a bit older...

shitty art dreams

So... you may or may not have noticed that I posted a new volume of 'Martin's Messed up dreams', you didn't? Oh fuck you then! I try and I try but it's never good enough for you, maybe I should just hang myself as I write this post! Would that make you happy!?!? Would it?!

Wow, I seem to have gone off on a bit of a self-destructive tangent there. Never mind, I was just blogging to say that I've added MS Paint illustrations to all my messed up dreams posts. I just thought it would make them seem that much more real. My dreams are often in the style of a small child (and/or kinda simple adult) using paint.

You can see all of the *cough* artwork here

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 6 - The Late Late Breakfast Show With Bill Bailey

Some dreams are just fragments of he past day mixed together to form images in your head... well most are. But the other night I had a dream that - to be quite honest - is one of the greatest ideas ever to be concieved(Though that's what I said about the girl with a massive toenail).

Picture this...

Bill Bailey walking along a suburban street in the late evening, he's in a dressing gown and has a newspaper under his arm, as he walks along people (some famous, some not famous) all who wave and say hi to him. He walks upto a flat, there are 2 front doors - each for different flats. A man is at the door on the right and Bill goes to the one on the left. They share a glance before going into their respective flats, the camera follows the man on the right as he enters the flat and turns on the tv. The camera then zooms into the TV to reveal Bill, dressed the same as he was outside holding the same news paper walking into a studio living room with a live audience. A voiceover says "It's the Late, Late Breakfast Show with Bill Bailey!". Bill then procedes to read vairous topical news stories from the paper and makes jokes about them. At one point, he's going to do a cook along with a complicated recipie and make a mess all over his dressing gown which he then takes off to reveal another Dressing gown under it. It'll be comedy gold.

Another Post About What I'm Watching On TV

I hate Philip Scolefield. Always have done. That silver haird fucker. He probably has sex with kids. Not children, but goats. Some times he kills the goats and fucks ghosgoats. That sick fuck. Oh christ, there's a blonde bimbo on TV who's already refered to herself as "crazy" and has claimed to be doing it to "prove that not all blonds are ditzy". That's possibly the quickest I've learned to hate someone. She just fucked her challenge up - Ditzy bitch.

I'm watching the cube by the way. Charlie Brooker mentioned it in an article that Leggat sent me, I've been watching a lot of screenwipe lately(Which you should totally watch by the way.). It's well good.

Hogan knows... best?

There's a Hulk Hogan film on BBC2. He's got a simmilar acting style to Dean Learner in garth marenghi's darkplace - in that he can't act. The main difference is, he's not acting like he can't act. He can't act. Luckily for the Hulkster, everyone else in this film is bad at acting. There's a parrot that can talk. I don't mean saying the same things over and over again, I mean it can speak full conversations with people. Real parrots don't do that. At one point, a bunch of prople were trying to push a car out of the sand, no one could. Then Hogan comes along and pushes it out himself. He's like a kids' TV version of Arnie.

All the bad guys in this film seem to be black. Maybe Hulk Hogan's a little racist.

Now we're gonna play 'spot the Alan Partridge reference'

The mystical adventures of ghost toilet and the phantom shits

Episode 1. In the bath

What's this? A week without any posts and now 2 posts in one day!??! What will I do next?

A few weeks ago, Simmo mentioned the Matt Berry/Rich Fuller (That might be the wrong spelling, I don't care enough to check) sketch show; Snuff Box via twitter (which by the way, if you haven't got it yet, you're a loser. Get with the times - before it gets comercialised and crap like Facebook and Bebo.). As a seemingly direct result, I decided to watch the series in it's entirety. It was pretty good.

I haven't blogged in over a week :O

Why the fuck am I watching Channel 5? You know it's bad when Trisha is the best thing on TV. Oh now House is on, I've never watched it before. Wow, Hugh Lorrie is just as annoying as an American as he is as Percy from Blackadder. At least Blackadder's funny.

Anyway, as the title of this post tells you, I haven't blogged in over a week... colon oh. I'm going to the Red Cross shop in a couple of hours to volunteer... or find out about volunteering... or to steal stuff. Probably not the latter though.

Wow, House just made a joke about Germans taking there anger out on the Jews. It's not even mid-day yet!

I think I could get into this whole 'House' program.

A post about Tesco!!!

Where to go? where to go? You can go left to the small one or right to the big one. Unless you're on the other side of the road, then it's the other way around. I prefer the big one. Being bigger it has more stuff and it's not any busier than the small one so you get served quicker. Also there was that thing with the balls in the small one but I try not to think about that.

When you get there, you take a trolly. Or you take a basket but I prefer a trolly unless I'm not getting a lot of stuff - even then, I sometimes take a trolly. Better safe than sorry.

Then you shop.

Then comes the time to pay. You can go to a self-service check out. Although they usually work well enough and you don't have the unbearable task of interacting with another human being, the machines can be awkward.

At the check out you have the shop assistant. Their badges say "happy to help". Clearly that's irony as these people are the most miserable bastards in the world. The make me look happy and I'm a humourless dick... but not really. They look at you with disgust and ask "Do you want bags?". Of course I fucking want bags? how do you think I'm going to carry £20 worth of groceries to my flat? Magic powers!??! You've been working here since 2005(I can tell by looking at the badge - Tesco employees have the year they started working there on a badge - as a reminder of when they stopped being people and began being EMPLOYEES) how can you not know that I need bags. They don't like giving bags away you see. When they eventually do give you bags, they give you the bare minimum. They don't want to run out you see. They only have a few million to give away each day.

Back in my Alloway - wake at 3am days, I was watching the early morning BBC news24 show. They were talkng about excess packaging and it's effect on the environment. One woman wrote in saying that she took things out of their packaging before leaving the shop so that she wouldn't have to deal with excess packeging. Mental bitch

19(55)84

For some reason(I don't know why), I have(well actually I do know but that get's in the way of the story so forget that)an audiobook of George Orwell's 1984 on my mp3 player. I haven't listened to it yet - well not properly. Over the last few nights I've been listening to it through my xbox(Yeah, I use modern technology) as I lie in bed. Unfortunatly, each segmant is around 40 minutes long and as I'm in bed, I'm fairly tired. Like most tired people in bed, I tend to fall asleep. I've heard the first half hour about 3 times so far. I think I'm probably going to know the first half hour off the top of my head. As for the rest, well that's probably going to be in my head somewhere. As it turns out, listening to an audiobook of 1984 messes with your dreams. I can't remember what any of these dreams are, but at the time of waking up, I knew it was because of that damn audiobook. I have found myself being more paranoid about the forces above. TVs definatly seem to be watching me just as much - if not more that I watch them.

I might bring back the "Martin's messed up dreams" posts. I can't remember how many I did. 5ish? Who cares?

beart heat

Leggat's away home, Sam's away home and Johnny's... I don't know where Johnny is.

An advert on TV just asked me; "imagine if clothes were made of flowers" WTF!?!?

I'm watching Heartbeat. That's what my life has come to. Someone on it just shouted "Bill!". It was like the best thing ever! Last time I watched it, there was a Beatles song, I'm hoping a Kinks song comes on. Of course a program like heartbead would require quite a special sponsor. Macdonalds? Tesco? No, it's sponsored by Yorkshire. Yeah, the county. Fuck businesses, Heartbeat is spnsored by Yorkshire.

I can't wait 'till Leggat gets back so we can get drunk and view office spaces.

I'm bloggin' and I hope you like bloggin' too.

Look at me, I'm posting in my blog - unlike a certain Martin Leggat Yeah that's right! We share a first name!

Anyway. As I was saying, I'm posting on my blog. I was tidying my room - I'll get back to that when I've finished this post. "But Martin!" (how do you know my name?) "Didn't you tidy your room less than a month ago" (oh right, I said it earlier in the post) "how can your room not still be tidy from then?" Well, fictional enquirer, Just after I'd finished tidying my room last time, I had to move everything into the middle of the floor for the bugman. The bugman never came, he got killed by a killer ant or something(killer ants - worse than swine flu). Luckily another Bugman came about 3 days later and sprayed the flat. I've just about finished recovering from it - oh look, a meal worm crawling out of the edge of my room. wait, that's no meal worm.

Fucking killer ants!

"I don't hate vests"

I can't think of anything to blog about. I actually can't think of a thing. I'm not going to let that stop me from blogging...

There was someone getting arrested across the road the other day. I might have mentioned that in another post - I just don't know. I got Ordained recently, despite what nico says I'm a real reverend - it says so here

I I I I I can't think of anything so I'm going to play Left 4 dead until my clothes are washed. I hate washing machines.

wheely fucked up stuff

I was commenting on another blog earlier and I got that stupid anti-bot verification thing looking a bit like this...


Now fair enough it's there to stop spam, but it's just so damn inconvenient.

The one thing that got me though was the small picture next to where you type. A picture of a wheelchair. In the magical world of the internet, what does having a wheelchair have to do leaving a comment on a blog? Surely I'm not the only one who can type without walking, wheelchair people should be able to aswell. Maybe if you're on a wheelchair, you can't read the funny text they have and pressing the button gives an alternitive way of sharing this information. I decidd to press the button and a voice started playing. Did the voice say what the letters were? I don't think it actually did. it was all backwardsy - quite scary really. Kept saying something about "saint N?" and how he sad and had a tool shed or somthing, then it wend on to say someone (I didn't get the name) was a "big ol' bender". Clearly, disabled people can't read funny text but can hear sounds if they are played in reverse - that's a sciento-logical (nothing to do with scientology)fact.

This post contained 2 made up words and countless spelling mistakes - I'm sure Leggat will find them and point them out for/at me.

Post #75

Yes, it's my 75th post here!!!

It seems like just yesterday (or at least the day before yesterday) that I was writing my 67th post spectacular. Though this actually is the 75th - the 67th one was actually my 64th or something. I fucked up.
Leggat didn't blog yesterday so I cut myself. But not really. I remember one time he said he was going to blog about a circus or something - but a circus with something unusual about it. Do you remember Leggat? No? Oh never mind then.
I was in WHSmith today. They have a special rack for "The magazine of the week" though there were actually a few different magazines - all about Michael Jackson. When I die, I hope I get on a WHSmith magizine of the month. That's the dream.

Now for another bargain from the lovely people at Tesco...


In other news, someone got arrested across the road yesterday, it was pretty cool. Especially since the person getting arrested was Johnny V - all those days of stealing from charity boxes have finally caught up on him.

well join me next time for Post #76

bye.

EDIT: I just found out some more information on the power ranger actor on death row story. Turns out the guy on death row was an extra in an episode and he killed a couple on a boat... as you do.

You Have The Power (unless you're dead)

So...

I left my last post on a mention of something I liked as a kid, but another (more mainstream) thing I liked as a kid was...

POWER RANGERS!!!!!!

Man, they kicked ass, but where are they now?

I've heard a lot of stories about them. I've heard that some of them have ended up in porn, that one of them died in a car crash during 9/11 and even that one of them's on death row. But how much of this is true and how much of it's Bullshit? Well to cut a long story short, the 9/11 story is the only one that comes close.

Jason, He was the Red Power Ranger; everyone's favourite. Played by... *opens wikipedia* Austin St. John.
here's what he looked like in 2007...

He's a paramedic now, not exactly pornography...

Then there's the Black power ranger. What rhymes with black? Zack! So that's what they called him. They also made him a black guy... racism lol.
I'm not going to post a picture of what he looks like but look at the opening page to his website... http://www.walteremanueljones.com/
wow, just wow. He only has 9 fingers.

And what about the blue Power Ranger, he was Billy - The geek you learn to love and all that sort of stuff... now he does stuff for AIDs or something. No one really cares about him anyway.

Then there's the yellow Power Ranger who was of course asian. There's that underlined racism getting back in again... Her name was Trini, that's not really racist though so nevermind. She was played by Thuy Trang who died September 2001 but on the 3rd and in San Francisco. Turns out she was 27 when she died how rock and roll...

None of the other ones have done anything excitng either. Yeah, I'm disapointed too.

I forgot the title and labels...

so Leggat's going to update his blog every day huh? well I'm going to update mine everytimme he updates his. Just because I can... and have nothing better to do.

he's posted on his blog 2 days in a row so I'm due another post. I'll do it when I'm less tired, it'll be about the power rangers.

Anyway, there's a green rabbit that's been haunting my mind since I was a child I knew his face but not his name, then I found out he was called Bucky O'hare. That's the whole story.

RIP Leggat

Leggat's not actually dead (unless he died in the last couple of hours, in which case; my bad.) he's just gone home for a week or 2. We got water balloons yesterday and a thing for making giant bubbles but that's got little to do with this anecdote(I MIGHT mention it later). The story really started when we threw them at a bus... what a brilliant idea (or maybe I should say "water balloonient idea". that's actually a bit too forced, "water brilliant idea" would probbably get a better reaction but I want to go over-board with this pun. If you go over-board on a boat, you end up in water which brings me back to the subject I was talking about - water. Well water in balloon form anyway) ... I compltely lost where I was because of all that stuff I put in brackets. In the end, some guy shouted at Leggat and tried to kill us... unsuccessfully.

To break the post up a little, here's what me and Leggat did with Johnny's guitar...


He "lost sleep over this".

I would've written this post a little earlier but the router restart its self so I decided to poo instead.

Oh Crab!

I just realised that I said "crap" instead of "crab" a couple of posts ago... there, fixed. Oh, and by "I just realised", I mean Leggat told me about it half an hour ago.
I don't want to jynx it but I think I've fixed my sleeping pattern and I did a big part of my uni re-assessment thing. It's not even due in for a month I'm so on top of things it hurts. "If only you worked this hard at the time you idiot". Fuck you. You're always so pessimistic - whoever you are. Anyway, there's guy across the road and he was cleaning the window - FROM OUTSIDE. It was like a middle-aged spiderman - and I mean all kinds of spiderman! (A little something there for the old school blog followers - i.e. Billy. Hi Billy *waves*)

The window guy's just moved onto the next window - I shall watch in anticipation. I might even watch with my ping pong ball eye(A little something there for people who know about the ping pong ball eye i.e. (eye ee) Leggat). He was leaning against the window with a flat hand, he looked a bit like a mime - except it was real glass. How exciting.

"This country..."

I went to the jobcenter earlier this morning. They weren't doing job searches today, instead, they were just doing benefit claims... That's right, you go to find work but instead they offer you money for nothing - what an incentive. No wonder the country's gone to shit. I say "gone to shit", I don't think it's that bad - yet. Though I could do with a job, apparently I'm not good enough for McDonald's. The other day, Stacey said I looked like the Nutty Professor, Eddie Murphy? But I'm not black - yet.

It's raining outside... I'm talking about the weather, that's what this post has come to. Maybe a picture could change the subject.

...



Oh Josef you crazy fool *shakes head at Josef Fritzl's crazy foolishness*.

The Austrian version of 'Upstairs Downstairs' - if you don't make it, Sky will!

Sleep is for the weak

I seem to have evolved past needing to sleep. Though I will sleep eventually (probably). I Think I'm going to go for a walk, last time I went for a walk at this time, it was beautiful.

The tay looked like that...


And this picture of the other thing speaks for its self...


I also saw a crab (crab's nest lol), it seemed to be trying to reach for me - so I ate it... tasted like Starburst.

I Reset The Blog Counter!

It's like I've got a brand new blog. The last one seemed kind of wrong since most of the views were Leggat *shakes fist at Leggat*.

I was going to write a much longer post but my finger nails are too long so I won't.

7 - 8 - 9 ... If you're American!!!!!!!

They put the month before the date over there - hence the high rate of gun crime.

Anyway, enough of me insulting the most powerful nation in the world(for now), my room has almost made it to a state of perfection. I was up till 5am yesterday tidying and I'll probably do the same now but my room is actually starting to look tidy - not bad considering I don't have anything for storing clothes other than a cardboard box - Oh and since I still haven't got any fucking keys!
My landlord said he'd get them for me sometime after 5pm and it's now 3:50am - He's cutting it fucking short.

I found the cable for connecting my phone to my laptop but I can't be arsed getting it right now so this post won't have any pictures in it - unless I find a good one on my laptop...

I'm trying to upload a GIF of Alan Partridge playing airbass but it doesn't seem to be working. If it uploads before I've finished this post, I'll include it.

Speaking of enve- oh it loaded...


damn, the animation won't work.

anyway...

Speaking of envelopes, Leggat ran my toe over in Tesco today. A little girl started laughing at my pain but I soon wiped the smile of her face - with a gun.

Yeah, this post went quite sour at the end didn't it?

Happy Birthday Lee

He almost definatly won't read this - that's why I texted him - making this post completely useless.

...

Fuck you society.

The 67th Post Spectacular

That's right! It's the 67th post spectacular... Nothing too special, it's just an exciting(ish?) title. 67's an exiting number! It's 491 less than 558. It's the year that The Beatles released Sgt. Peppers and I Am The Walrus (one time I bought £19.63 worth of shopping and when the checkout lady said "That's £1963" I said "The year of the Beatles' first album." based on her reaction, she's not a Beatles fan and doesn't appreciate Beatles trivia - bitch.) And it's also the age of that guy on the cider bottle Kenzie left here - though actually, he could've been 66 I don't have to make this post you know! I was actually going to do about 6 loads worth of ironing right now. But Leggat came in my room and said "you haven't blogged in a while". It was a pretty short conversation and seeing as Leggat hasn't blogged in almost a week it was a little hypocritical to be honest. That's right Leggat, BLOG MORE! And Billy! You need to blog more too! You haven't blogged since early May! I'd also like to see Simmo and Kenzie blog more too but that's another story.

Anyway I was going to tidy my room and iron my clothes but instead I'm writing a blog and listening to Supergrass (actually I'm listening to The Kinks but that's like so predictable so I'm saying Supergrass instead). I have to stop for a minute because I hear people outside and I want to tease them with my strongbow can on a string. Damn, someone stole it - snapped it right off the string. I guess there is such a thing as pure evil.

Speaking of pure evil, Stacey signed me up to work at McDonald's (I did it before but apparently I was "too honest"). By the way I'm not saying Stacey's evil, I'm calling McDonald's evil - big difference. Though Stacey did call me a "lazy shite" the other day - I think she's a little bitter about me beating her at that 'friends' game. Stacey's a bad loser.

Recently, my life has revolved heavily around either playing Xbox, making pasta(I'm going to invent the greatest pasta sauce known to man - I told Leggat already - tell them Leggat!) and going to Tesco(no, not Tesco Extra). Tesco's great but they don't seem to sell hoi sin sauce - or water balloons.

I have some pictures that I plan on posting on the blog along with related anecdotes - some funny, some tragic. But I can't find the cable for my phone because my room's so unorganised. It doesn't help that I don't have a chest of drawers. I suppose I should go do that ironing now - after all, those clothes aren't going to iron themselves - or are they?

What about the elephants?

Take It To The Bridge

I haven't blogged since turning 20.

Here's a picture I made.

"Time you got a watch"

After all those months of having to use my phone and/or friends to tell the time, I've now got a watch. Happy days! Why did I get a new watch? Because it's my 20th birthday! Yeah, happy birthday to me. I also got an Xbox and Resident Evil 5 - not that you care. Maybe you did... did you? oh? no. :(

I'm planning on writiing an old style blog post, like the ones I used to do a couple of years ago


I even went to Tesco Extra.

Spam Gets Scary

Now I've got a lot of unread e-mails (5208 to be precise) but that's because I can usually tell from the subject that it's not worth reading (why don't I delete them? I have better things to do with my time). Recently though, a couple of emails have have gotten my attention through pure fear. I got an e-mail from "HM Prison Service" with the subject "We're all ears". I was terrified. Had I done something illegal. Are they questioning me about a murder or something via e-mail? No as it turns out, they want me to do a survey about prisons ...as if I'd know anything about that.

I also had an e-mail the other day with the subject "No Laughing Matter" I was horrified until I found out it was about a sale at Visaprint. Vistaprint by the way, take up a fair amount of the spam in my mail box. Those bastards.

Truly, the internet has made the world a terrible place to live.

My Last Week as a Teenager

I'm going to be 20 in a week. That's just 10 years less than 30! And THAT'S JUST 10 YEARS LESS THAN 40!!!!

Clearly, the end (of my time as a teenager) is neigh

Channel 4's on right now

I saw a bit of hollyoaks for the first time in ages. turns out there's a hot lesbian in it now. That's a pleasant surprise. Also someone in this year's Big Brother is called 'half-wit'. Now there's someone that the average big brother viewer should be able to relate to.

Leggat and I are planning on pretending to be lecturers at Dundee College.

A guy on the channel 4 news is talking about swine flu. He says although it's spreading slowly at the moment, it'll probably going to "really kick-off" (his words, not mine) in autumn. I can't wait.

There was also something about a car bomb so here's a picture of bomberman.



In other news, there's a new episode of That Mitchell and Webb Look tonigt

"What's your name"

"I don't know, no one's told me yet"


oh Calum...

You silly Nazis you!

So the BNP got a couple of seats in europe or something. I'm still not certain what that means but I've got the feeling that it's not a good thing because seats mean power (I assume) and the BNP are Nazis. I was at a socialist thing last week. Tommy Sheridan was there. What a guy. He really doesn't like the BNP so neither do I!

Now a lot of people will say things like "Martin you lazy cunt, how can you complain about politics if you can't even be bothered voting" Fuck you, I still pay VAT on things that I buy, I can complain as much as I want (by the way, good luck to Leggat at his guitar hero tournement thing on Wednesday). If I voted, the BNP would still have gotten those chairs so it doesn't even matter!

yay for google

^look at today's google logo. How cool is that?!?!?!?

"ONE MORE THING!"

So I'm just sitting here with Calum (That's what I call Johnny V now). We're watching Jackie Chan Adventures on You tube. The character's much younger than Jackie himself. It's quite funny. His uncle did some magic trick thing OVER THE PHONE. The cartoon actually has fuck all to do with Jackie Chan, but he randomly appears in the opening titles.

I've ran out of things to say so I'm going to search my computer for a picture...


It's a banana and it's just peeled the skin off of a human - TAKE THAT HUMANITY!

I had an idea for a blog...

Well I actually had a few ideas for blogs but I can't really remember any so I'll just type out any shit I can think of while I still have

_____________________________________________________

I typed that the other night then my laptop ran out of battery - poor show. I've now officially moved out of here...

And I've unofficially moved in here...

(Don't tell the people living there though, they think I'm just visiting.)

Jumping on the Bandwagon

http://twitter.com/gnarlysock

Yeah, I joined Twitter and you should like totally join it and follow me. Like most things on the Internet, I use twitter to say things and to stalk comedians.

The magic of the cinema

So I went to see Star Trek the other night with some of my flatmates and then the next day I went to see Angels and Demons with the film making society. Star Trek was excellent. Angels and Demons was hilariously shit. I spent the whole film thinking how much better Ardal O'Hanlon would be at playing that priest than Ewen McGregor. My favourite quote from the film was "not naive, innocent". I know it's not really in context but believe me, it makes as much sense there as it did in the film.

In conclusion, Star Trek was good

I was going to blog something...

and it was going to be good


But I'm going to bed instead

night

Viva Las Dundee

For those who don't know (i.e. not the people who are actually reading this) Computing students at Abertay all have to go to a meeting called the Viva. It's a big scary meeting (once described by Leggat as like going on Dragon's Den with a bad idea) where you talk about how you're doing on your course with a couple of lecturers with strong emphasis on what you've done wrong over the last year.

It actually went quite well. I just need to email one of my lecturers about finishing some stuff off and I'll soon enough be finished 1st year.

After my Viva, I celebrated with a haircut which as my previous post explains WAS TWENTY FUCKING TWO POUNDS!!!

Here's a picture of my bus from when it was on Channel 4's Secret Millionaire ... yeah, MY BUS WAS ON TV!!!

Short Is the New Long

I got a haircut today. I didn't go to the place I went to last time because it was £15 which everyone tells me is a rip off. After getting my haircut I was told that it cost TWENTY TWO FUCKING POUNDS!!!!!!

I payed £22 for a fucking hair cut. I could spend that money on so many better things that short hair! I saw the wii version of wario ware in head (formally Zavvi) and it was £19 something... THAT'S CHEAPER THAN MY FUCKING HAIRCUT!

Through the magic of webcam, you can see how short my hair now is.

£22 for a hair cut - what a spencil thing to do.

This is what all new music should sound like

listening when your flatmate turns a radio on at 2 in the morning has some benefits.

Simmo turned on the radio and we caught the middle of this gem

I highly recommend that you watch that video from start to end - twice

They're apparently Glaswegian which puts them within stalking distance - huzzah

Daffodil Soup Makes Kids sick... no seriously

http://news.uk.msn.com/odd-news/article.aspx?cp-documentid=16530573

Apparently some kids tried making some daffodil soup of their own... AND IT POISONED THEM!!!


That's some good blog advertisement right there!

300 Views

yeah, I was just coming here to look back at the times before Leggat stole my Tetris score in the union when I noticed the blog counter.


yeah, three fucking hundred here's to 258 more!

"Those swines flew"

A copy of yesterday's Sun (or scum as I think it should be known as) was sitting folded in my flat and I saw the top half of the front page. "Free Gavin & Stacey DVD" "Get Britain Laughing" Happy happy - stuff like that. Then I turn the paper over and see "IT'S HERE!" "KILLER DISEASE HITS SCOTLAND!!" THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO... was the sort of message I got from it. Don't worry though the was a small message on the inside "Don't panic". Thank fuck.

There was an article from a guy with the subtitle 'reporter of the year'. Clearly showing his expertise and writing brilliance, the article (about how Swine Flu is replacing terrorism as the thing that we should all fear) started with the line "Those swines flew, now there's Swine Flu". And he also had pictures of terrorists with big red lines through them. I assume this is to illustrate how terrorism no longer happens. I guess it takes a certain kind of skill to be reporter of the year.

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 5 - Obama in the Chilis

He may be the President of the USA, but in my dream last night, Barack Obama replaced John Frusciante as the guitarist in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He wasn't as good as John but he had some nice style and very quickly became a fan favorite.
The RHCP line-up with John Frusciante was cloned so you could still see them perform but they just did the same stuff over and over again so people got bored of them.

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 4 - Gordon Ramsay's New World Order

In one of the dreams I had last night, Gordon Ramsay had created some sort of new world order in which he got rid of everything he didn't see fit. One of those things was a Vauxhall Corsa. That's right, Gordon Ramsay doesn't like Corsas!

9 Tins Of Relentless = Bad Idea

The title basically tells you enough. I decided i would be a good idea to stay up all night so I drank 9 tins of relentless. It's much worse than alcohol - The come down was fucking torture.

But that was like a week ago (because of the inevitable brain damage, I can't really remember when it was) and I'm fine now so here's a highly exploitable picture of Johnny V.

You know what's better than going to morrisons?

Going to Morrisons as it opens at 8am.

You know what's better than going to Morrisons as it opens at 8am?

going to Morrisons as it it opens at 8am - while drunk

You know what's better than that?

There's a special offer on Super Noodles

Simmo just posted a Blog

But since YOU CAN'T COMMENT ON HIS BLOGS - I'm unable to leave a comment saying something like "woah, I just mentioned snooker in my blog less than half an hour ago!!!"


Hmm, maybe that's why he doesn't allow comments.

If Simmo reads this post, then the situation could possibly evolve into some form of blog off. Ive never had a blog off with someone in the next room before, should be good.


I leave you with a Video from Leggat's 'Hair Blair Bunch'

One of those longish posts where I complain about being bored

Snooker is fucking boring - if anyone tells you different then that person is a liar. I'm pretty bored right now - not as bored as when the snooker was on - but bored. I think I might tidy my room. look at how messy it is.


When I typed "tidy" a minute ago, I accidentally typed "tity". It would be humorous if I didn't notice that - or maybe it wouldn't be. I wish Simmo would allow comments on his blog - then I'd be able to comment on the different posts in his blog. I also wish Leggat would update the Flat 14 blog or at the very least start a new blog of his own - then I'd be able to comment on the different posts in his blog.

Ever get the feeling you're repeating you self repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself shitting yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself?

I have a twitter account because it's supposed to be the big new thing but I don't seem to know anyone which kinda goes against the whole point of it.

Ah well, now to kill some time, I might dress up in a suit with sunglasses and pretend that I'm in The Matrix again.

Gordon Ramsay doesn't write newspapers - but if he did, they'd be better than the fucking Sun

I saw the cover of today's (or yesterday's as the case my be) Sun. It was about Chris Moyles being axed as the Radio 1 breakfast show presenter. According the BBC - that's bullshit. If so, it's not the worst piece of bullshit to come from the sun in the last few days, this was much worse.

I bet if Gordon 'The God' Ramsay caught cervical cancer, The Sun would be kissing his ass. He'd probably still tell them to go fuck themselves though because he's THAT COOL.

Even Google agrees with me about the sun being shit.

I Am The 1337 Rower

The other day I went to the gym with Leggat - not in the gay way - and I decided to have a go on the rowing machine. I got to 558 metres then took a drink of water - well I had just ran for 5.58 miles or kilometres or something so I was kinda thirsty. Anyway, after my mouthful of water I got back to my rowing and then stopped again at exactly 1337 metres. Oh yeah. I'm that fucking cool

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 3 - Dinner With The Zutons

In the dream I had last night, I was having dinner with The Zutons. They all haded each other and split up. I was also told by someone working for Jimmy Chung that I had to fight Leggat as he and I were both actually in the Zutons.

It's not the most rock 'n' roll dream I've ever had. That was the one where Jimi Hendrix was smoking my bus ticket but that's for another time.

The Nintendo 5 Strike Again

On Thursday night, I made a quick sketch and on Friday, I opened Photoshop and began work on something very special.


In the words of a couple of my flatmates "what the fuck"


Goodnight everyone and have a safe tomorrow

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 2 - Explosive piss

Yeah, I had a dream this morning. It involved me having explosive piss. There were also like evil people/zombies trying to kill me. The dream was inconsistent - much like zombies.

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 1 - The Daffy Duck One

Last night I had a weird dream. I dreamt that I was the voice artist for Daffy Duck - but I did it with... my penis. But I stopped for a while because I upset some girl - but she turned out to be a bitch so I started again.

my face is hairy...

For the first time in my life, I think I've got an actual beard. The original plan was to shave when I'd handed my coursework in but to be honest, the beard's actually starting to grow on me...




Ahh, facial hair jokes.

Back in the USS - Dundee

After my insanely long trip home (Sunday - Thursday), I'm back in Dundee. After an hour of walking around Elgin, I didn't see one person I know - I go to Dundee and see 2 people within 5 minutes of arriving. Johnny v really wants a copy of Diddy Kong Racer for DS. It's almost as if Mario Kart isn't good enough for him.

Oh Boy...

An advert with children dancing and a strong emphasis on "touch" - topped off with Michael Jackson singing.


I'm saying nothing

Hmm...

Uncle Ben's is owned by Mars - so is pedigree chum.


Does that mean Uncle Ben's tastes like dog food?


seeing as Mars bars don't taste like dog food, I'd imagine not.

But what do I know - I said ""bullet-proof, but not locked" he then attempts to open the door only to find that it's not locked."

It's 1st of April

From: Me
Sent: Wed 01/04/2009 00:39
To: My Lecturers
Subject: RE: Coursework submission

Hi, I'm just emailing to say that I've not started any of my coursework that's due on Friday yet, can you please help me

____________________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Me
Sent: Wed 01/04/2009 00:41
To: My Lecturers
Subject: RE: Coursework submission

APRIL FOOLS
I was just kidding

______________________________________________________________________
From: Me
Sent: Wed 01/04/2009 00:44
To: My Lecturers
Subject: RE: Coursework submission

But no, seriously, I've done nothing


help?

______________________________________________________________________

Rejoice!

Billy's finally written - not 1, but 2 blog posts.

Well - they're both basically the same posts but with different levels of detail - but posts none-the-less

now we just need to see leggat update the flat 14 blog and the world will be beautiful again


speaking of beautiful - I've started making my own pizzas



how fucking good does that look?

Good ane ASDA!

I went to ASDA today and it turns out they don't sell pizza bases. I mean what kind of shop doesn't sell pizza bases? I asked them - I said "are you going to get any in" and they said they didn't know. Also the areal connector I bought turned out to be the wrong kind.

After my rather sizable shopping adventure, I decided to use the "super fast and efficient" self-service checkouts. I fucking hate those things - They're all like "put your item in the bagging area" then "unexpected item in the bagging area" - WHAT THE FUCK - how can it be unexpected!?!? You just fucking told me to put it there. I then move the item out of the bagging area - "please return the item to the bagging area - you cannot continue until the item is returned to the bagging area" - WHAT!?!!? Don't tell to something if you're only going to start throwing threats around when I do it!

Stupid ASDA

Can't even do good maths...

New thing

I just got me a site counter on the blog.

now watch as it rises high using completely legit page views.


*cough*

25th post bumper special

A copy of the sun was sitting in my flat so I had a wee read of it. There was an article about how some Internet company is exploiting Jade Goody having cancer.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

I don't have too much of a problem with the way the sun are helping Jade prostitute her cancer in order to make money (in fact, if she dies in June, I'll be guilty of the the same thing). But when they start having a go at people for doing what they do on a much smaller scale - well that's fucked up. One of the people speaking against the company was Max Clifford. In case you don't know him, he's that slimy cunt who wastes everyone's time with his celebrity circus of morons. He's also the man who's been pimping Jade Goody left right and centre.

On a lighter note, this is my 25th post here.

Yay for that!

This is going to be the best march ever!

Or maybe it'll be the worst

Either way, I'm getting new shoes on Friday. I'm not one to go all girly and excited about shoes, but my current ones are actually falling apart. The sole is actually coming off of one of them and I can feel the ground as I walk. By the sounds of things, my record player's on the way out too

FUCKING HELL

I've just checked with another record - the player is definitely broken. Fuck you bush (bush is the make of my record player)

Doing Walkers A F(l)avour - Part 2

Well I had the other flavours a few days ago so now I can make a decision... or maybe I should make 4!

CHILLI & CHOCOLATE
When I heard of this flavour, my first impression of it was that it sounds horrible... My first impression was spot on. Still though, it's better than fish and chips - 2/10

ONION BHAJI
The flavouring on these crisps are the same as onion ring crisps. It should be noted now that I love onion rings (both the crisps and the battered onion things). Though it's not all about flavour when you're eating crisps. The texture and taste just didn't go - 6/10

BUILDER'S BREAKFAST
The first new flavour that I'd heard of; the last I tried (actually I might have tried it earlier but that's not as exciting). I knew that these would either be Very good or very not good. There's no not about it, these are very good crisps - 9/10

Well would you look at that. Looks like it's between Builder's Breakfast and cajun squirrel. Builder's Breakfast is easier to spell so for that reason, it's getting my vote.


Though I still wouldn't choose it over a bag of prawn cocktail or salt n vinegar. Now THEY are 10/10 crisps... also wotsits - AND NIK NAKS!!!!

do we really need new crisps?

Doing Walkers A F(l)avour - Part 2 Will be coming soon

1 month down

well well well. Today is the 1/12th anniversary of this blog... Well actually the blog's more than a month old but my first post was a month ago and that's what's important.


Now let's celebrate with some cake. And by cake, I mean a plectrum stuck in blu-tack


yummy

incase you were wondering...

I can now confirm that The Kooks' version of 'Victoria' is shit


Still. It's better than anything else they've done (The horn section was at least interesting).



Now to listen to the original...

Ahh, that's better.

Doing Walkers A F(l)avour - Part 1

As you may or may not know, Walkers have launched a (some would say exciting) campaign for finding a new flavour of crisps. The nominations are in and 6 flavours have been accepted - but only one can stay (cue climatic music). The one that remains shall be decided by the crisp-eating public - i.e. us.

Of these 6 flavours, I've tried - and judged 3 so far.

CRISPY DUCK AND HOISIN SAUSE
Not bad, they taste sort of like barbecue beef or chicken - but better - 7/10

CAJEN SQURIELL
Surprisingly good, my mouth came alive with the taste of tree-dwelling critters. Very possibly a surprise win in the making -9/10

FISH & CHIPS
As I put the crisp in my mouth, the flavour came alive and danced around my mouth. That would be great if it weren't such an awful flavour - felt like I was eating sewage - 1/10


TO BE CONTINUED

I just realised that this blog doesn't have a title!

So yeah, turns out that the pub quiz isn't on tonight. Stupid union's closed.

That's depressing. I only really woke up today to go to the pub quiz - I might as well have stayed in bed.

Though to be fair, that games testing guy still hasn't given me the £30 worth of union vouchers that he owes me so I'd have to buy drinks with money. I think when (or maybe if) he finally does give me the vouchers, I'm going to get absolutely fucked - just for the sheer thrill of it... because I don't usually do that anyway.

That's right, I don't

I usually just get moderately drunk - just something drown out the screaming in my head.


*curls up in a fetal position in the corner of a room*

I haven't posted here in a while

whoops

I haven't really done that much to talk about


though - saying that...