"Those swines flew"

A copy of yesterday's Sun (or scum as I think it should be known as) was sitting folded in my flat and I saw the top half of the front page. "Free Gavin & Stacey DVD" "Get Britain Laughing" Happy happy - stuff like that. Then I turn the paper over and see "IT'S HERE!" "KILLER DISEASE HITS SCOTLAND!!" THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO... was the sort of message I got from it. Don't worry though the was a small message on the inside "Don't panic". Thank fuck.

There was an article from a guy with the subtitle 'reporter of the year'. Clearly showing his expertise and writing brilliance, the article (about how Swine Flu is replacing terrorism as the thing that we should all fear) started with the line "Those swines flew, now there's Swine Flu". And he also had pictures of terrorists with big red lines through them. I assume this is to illustrate how terrorism no longer happens. I guess it takes a certain kind of skill to be reporter of the year.

Gordon Ramsay doesn't write newspapers - but if he did, they'd be better than the fucking Sun

I saw the cover of today's (or yesterday's as the case my be) Sun. It was about Chris Moyles being axed as the Radio 1 breakfast show presenter. According the BBC - that's bullshit. If so, it's not the worst piece of bullshit to come from the sun in the last few days, this was much worse.

I bet if Gordon 'The God' Ramsay caught cervical cancer, The Sun would be kissing his ass. He'd probably still tell them to go fuck themselves though because he's THAT COOL.

Even Google agrees with me about the sun being shit.

25th post bumper special

A copy of the sun was sitting in my flat so I had a wee read of it. There was an article about how some Internet company is exploiting Jade Goody having cancer.

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

I don't have too much of a problem with the way the sun are helping Jade prostitute her cancer in order to make money (in fact, if she dies in June, I'll be guilty of the the same thing). But when they start having a go at people for doing what they do on a much smaller scale - well that's fucked up. One of the people speaking against the company was Max Clifford. In case you don't know him, he's that slimy cunt who wastes everyone's time with his celebrity circus of morons. He's also the man who's been pimping Jade Goody left right and centre.

On a lighter note, this is my 25th post here.

Yay for that!

This is going to be the best march ever!

Or maybe it'll be the worst

Either way, I'm getting new shoes on Friday. I'm not one to go all girly and excited about shoes, but my current ones are actually falling apart. The sole is actually coming off of one of them and I can feel the ground as I walk. By the sounds of things, my record player's on the way out too

FUCKING HELL

I've just checked with another record - the player is definitely broken. Fuck you bush (bush is the make of my record player)