Thursday, 24 November 2011

What's this? An Update A Week?

Look who's getting back into the blogging spirit. Me! I'm blogging.

Now I know what you're thinking. "Martin, when you start your blog posts with a paragraph or two about blogging and mention blogging over and over again, it usually means you've got fuck all to talk about."

Who are you?

Also yeah! maybe I don't have anything to talk about. But surely I can think of something...



I had a brilliant idea the other day. I think. I can't remember. I did have an interesting dream last night, maybe I could make "Mratin's messed up dreams: Volume 558"

What have I been doing for past couple of weeks?

Skyrim and coursework. I refilled the ink cartridge in my printer... But that was just to print off uni work.

I had a massive steak the other night... But that was to celebrate killing a Dragon. In Skyrim. Not real life.

I was walking down the road the other day - walking between my flat and Tesco. If this were Skyrim, I'd just fast travel there, but that's just the 'portal guns not existing in real life' thing all over again... But yeah, there was this woman touching herself while walking past me. I was all like "Oh yeah, she's touching herself because of me..." ...if it weren't for the fact that she was like fifty. It was fucking disgusting, really put a downer on the whole day.

...And that's why I haven't started my ethics coursework.

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Flea stared at me!

I was doing some uni work (Yes I was doing uni work! Shut up!) when I noticed someone on Facebook posting about blogging. That brought back some memories. Remember when I used to blog? phuh! All the time! Sometimes - twice in one day!

"Hey Martin how did you see someone's facebook update if you were doing uni work?" Because I've got 2 monitors. Now let me get back to my story dick head!

Wait, isn't Dick head 1 word? "Dickhead" That looks better, but the Google chrome spell checker's put a red, squiggly line under it... Hmm

Anyhoo, I was all like: "remember when I used to blog? I should get back into blogging."

But then came a question. What to blog about?

I paused for a second then I came to a conclusion. I could. Blog about...


As you probably know (The chances are - if you're reading this - you're probably me.) I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers last Saturday. It was fucking immense. Because My good friend Scott Lang (Langsters paradise) got me a ticket from O2, I had to meet him there to get it. I also had another ticket that I'd bought so I took my girlfriend. As it turned out, the Langsta didn't get there before we reached the door to get into the actual gig. So we were there with 1 ticket between us. I know what you're thinking; "Shit! You'll be killed". Luckily though, it wasn't some mad killer with a knife at my back, It was a very nice man with a spare ticket. I was too shocked to thank him properly. I was thinking I could do that here, but no. He won't be one of the 2 or 3 people to read this.

The support band were alright. At first I thought their guitarist was on heroin or something. Though after a while I realised; he's just a hipster twat.

But nothing previously mentioned in this post - or even the entirety of this blog - bears any significance in comparison to the fact that... FLEA STARED AT ME!

Right at me!

I was all like rocking out with my fist in the air and he was like...

It was intense. I thought I might shit myself - I didn't. But afterwards, I was thinking. If I'd flattened my hand to turn my putting my fist in the air into a Nazi salute... That would've probably thrown him off. That would be pretty funny.

I think I might start blogging more often, I might make it a weekly thing or something.

Friday, 11 November 2011

Skyrim + drinking = my Friday night

So yeah, I started playing Skyrim at about 7ish and it's now 11:48. I'm about 4 and a half Cidres in(see-dra, not psy-der) and I've just beaten a mountain goat to death with a mace. The way it's lifeless corpse fell down the side of the cliff? Funny as fuck. Having never played an Elder Scrolls game before, this is quite an experience, I'm currently wondering around some mountain. I had a horse but that died when I rode it off the ledge into some spiky rocks.

I've been given an assistant type person called Lydia and she's all like "yeah!" and "let's do that". I like her attitude, she'll go far in this business if she keeps it up. There was some bint earlier on in the game who can fucking well die for all I care. I had to follow her to something and she was walking so fucking slow, I tried to talk to her but she was all like "I've got nothing to say to you" and "mind your own business." Yo bitch! I spent forty quid on this game; anything that happens is my fucking business. I mean really, the nerve of some people... And then - because she was rude and I was bored - I hit her with my shield. Then she killed me and I had to start the whole thing again.

And then I lost her! I was like "hey! Where'd you go?". She didn't answer.

One critisism of this game though: What's with the playable character's stamina, I can run for much longer than that. And I'm unfit.


I just kicked a wolf in the face and smacked it over the head with a mace. I love this game! 10 out of 10!