Cheers Facebook

They could have just said "is Single" or even "is now single" but noooo...

"Martin Martin Macleod Macleod (Yes I use my full name as middle name on Facebook) Went from being in a relationship - being a happy functional member of society - to single - What a fucking loser freak. Let's throw faeces at the loser freak - I bet his hard drive's going to be filled to the fucking brim with disgusting pornography. Just wank and cry. Wank and cry.

Luckily it wasn't really that heavy a relationship and I'm still friends with the girl. But if I had just been dumped by 'the one', that love heart they stick there would be a nice pile of salt in the wound. It would be more sensitive to put a swastika there.

Flea stared at me!

I was doing some uni work (Yes I was doing uni work! Shut up!) when I noticed someone on Facebook posting about blogging. That brought back some memories. Remember when I used to blog? phuh! All the time! Sometimes - twice in one day!

"Hey Martin how did you see someone's facebook update if you were doing uni work?" Because I've got 2 monitors. Now let me get back to my story dick head!


Wait, isn't Dick head 1 word? "Dickhead" That looks better, but the Google chrome spell checker's put a red, squiggly line under it... Hmm

Anyhoo, I was all like: "remember when I used to blog? I should get back into blogging."

But then came a question. What to blog about?

I paused for a second then I came to a conclusion. I could. Blog about...

THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!

As you probably know (The chances are - if you're reading this - you're probably me.) I went to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers last Saturday. It was fucking immense. Because My good friend Scott Lang (Langsters paradise) got me a ticket from O2, I had to meet him there to get it. I also had another ticket that I'd bought so I took my girlfriend. As it turned out, the Langsta didn't get there before we reached the door to get into the actual gig. So we were there with 1 ticket between us. I know what you're thinking; "Shit! You'll be killed". Luckily though, it wasn't some mad killer with a knife at my back, It was a very nice man with a spare ticket. I was too shocked to thank him properly. I was thinking I could do that here, but no. He won't be one of the 2 or 3 people to read this.

The support band were alright. At first I thought their guitarist was on heroin or something. Though after a while I realised; he's just a hipster twat.

But nothing previously mentioned in this post - or even the entirety of this blog - bears any significance in comparison to the fact that... FLEA STARED AT ME!

Right at me!

I was all like rocking out with my fist in the air and he was like...


It was intense. I thought I might shit myself - I didn't. But afterwards, I was thinking. If I'd flattened my hand to turn my putting my fist in the air into a Nazi salute... That would've probably thrown him off. That would be pretty funny.

I think I might start blogging more often, I might make it a weekly thing or something.

Martin answered a question... That nobody asked :(

"Man, this uni work is getting pretty stressful. I know... I'll take a break and go onto facebook to calm myself... oh wow a poll/question thing, that's bound to be entertaining..."

2 minutes later...

"Why the fuck has that deselected itself!!! Fuck Fucking fuck!!!!"

"oh look another poll I wonder what possible answers there are..."

2 minutes of reading 'there' in the place of 'their' later...

"Fuck you Fucking Facebook polls! How the fuck is anyone that fucking stupid!?!?"


I wish I could say I was the person who left that comment or at least that I was one of the 3 people who liked it but alas that would be untrue.