Where to go? where to go? You can go left to the small one or right to the big one. Unless you're on the other side of the road, then it's the other way around. I prefer the big one. Being bigger it has more stuff and it's not any busier than the small one so you get served quicker. Also there was that thing with the balls in the small one but I try not to think about that.
When you get there, you take a trolly. Or you take a basket but I prefer a trolly unless I'm not getting a lot of stuff - even then, I sometimes take a trolly. Better safe than sorry.
Then you shop.
Then comes the time to pay. You can go to a self-service check out. Although they usually work well enough and you don't have the unbearable task of interacting with another human being, the machines can be awkward.
At the check out you have the shop assistant. Their badges say "happy to help". Clearly that's irony as these people are the most miserable bastards in the world. The make me look happy and I'm a humourless dick... but not really. They look at you with disgust and ask "Do you want bags?". Of course I fucking want bags? how do you think I'm going to carry £20 worth of groceries to my flat? Magic powers!??! You've been working here since 2005(I can tell by looking at the badge - Tesco employees have the year they started working there on a badge - as a reminder of when they stopped being people and began being EMPLOYEES) how can you not know that I need bags. They don't like giving bags away you see. When they eventually do give you bags, they give you the bare minimum. They don't want to run out you see. They only have a few million to give away each day.
Back in my Alloway - wake at 3am days, I was watching the early morning BBC news24 show. They were talkng about excess packaging and it's effect on the environment. One woman wrote in saying that she took things out of their packaging before leaving the shop so that she wouldn't have to deal with excess packeging. Mental bitch