Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Talent Show Reject on a Blurry Screen

So... I pub quizzed tonight. Pub quizzed hard. We even got half the answers right. most teams had more than twice as many people so it was kinda a moral victory.

But I'm not here to blog about some pub quiz - I've done that enough in the past.

What happened after the pub quiz is where it's at.

Leaving the pub quiz, everyone was pretty drunk. "What to do now?" we all slurred at each other in a somewhat aggressive manner. "Why I say, let's go to Liquid" one vomity-sicky voice said. "Good call". Good call indeed.

For those who don't know; Liquid is a nightclub in Dundee. There are probably other ones around the country, but the liquid in question is in Dundee.

So Martin? Why are are you boring us with shitty facts about some nightclub that isn't as good as Undedrground - even after underground put their prices up (the bastards).

Well Martin, (Martin? But I'm Martin. I need to stop posing questions to myself on my blog, it's getting really confusing - especially since I'm half-cut.)

Well Martin, we were going into liquid thinking 'oh, it's Monday, should be nice and cheap.'. £7 to get in! On a Monday! What the fuck!? I was happy to pay it. But still; what the fuck liquid? What the fuck?

We couldn't see what the fuss was until we got separated by a massive crowd of screaming maniacs. I could hear a PA system with a voice saying "Here he comes!".

Here who comes?

Here Wagner comes.

Apparently I'm the only person who doesn't give a fuck about this guy, yet I was within feet of him. I could've bottled him. But he had a guy. Yeah, a guy. Looked hard as fuck. Like Phill Mitchell and Grant Mitchell merged into one massive, bald ball of Eastenders hardness.

Also I throw like a girl.

Anyhoo, I was really close to this Wagner guy. Yet I couldn't give a fuck. I was closer to him than the X-factor judges were when they thought "Yeah, let's bring on another comedy act.". I was closer to him than I was to the Red Hot Chili Peppers when I saw them a few years ago - and I really like the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I was also closer than some genuine Wagner fans and was actually blocking their view of him. I would've moved for them but they insisted on shouting "Wagner" at the top of their voices and blowing out my eardrums. So fuck 'em. I hope they enjoyed watching their favourite talent show reject on a blurry screen.

Wait, he didn't win did he? If he did, that last line doesn't really work. Nor does the title.

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