"Those swines flew"

A copy of yesterday's Sun (or scum as I think it should be known as) was sitting folded in my flat and I saw the top half of the front page. "Free Gavin & Stacey DVD" "Get Britain Laughing" Happy happy - stuff like that. Then I turn the paper over and see "IT'S HERE!" "KILLER DISEASE HITS SCOTLAND!!" THE WORLD IS GOING TO END AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO... was the sort of message I got from it. Don't worry though the was a small message on the inside "Don't panic". Thank fuck.

There was an article from a guy with the subtitle 'reporter of the year'. Clearly showing his expertise and writing brilliance, the article (about how Swine Flu is replacing terrorism as the thing that we should all fear) started with the line "Those swines flew, now there's Swine Flu". And he also had pictures of terrorists with big red lines through them. I assume this is to illustrate how terrorism no longer happens. I guess it takes a certain kind of skill to be reporter of the year.

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 5 - Obama in the Chilis

He may be the President of the USA, but in my dream last night, Barack Obama replaced John Frusciante as the guitarist in the Red Hot Chili Peppers. He wasn't as good as John but he had some nice style and very quickly became a fan favorite.
The RHCP line-up with John Frusciante was cloned so you could still see them perform but they just did the same stuff over and over again so people got bored of them.

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 4 - Gordon Ramsay's New World Order

In one of the dreams I had last night, Gordon Ramsay had created some sort of new world order in which he got rid of everything he didn't see fit. One of those things was a Vauxhall Corsa. That's right, Gordon Ramsay doesn't like Corsas!

9 Tins Of Relentless = Bad Idea

The title basically tells you enough. I decided i would be a good idea to stay up all night so I drank 9 tins of relentless. It's much worse than alcohol - The come down was fucking torture.

But that was like a week ago (because of the inevitable brain damage, I can't really remember when it was) and I'm fine now so here's a highly exploitable picture of Johnny V.

You know what's better than going to morrisons?

Going to Morrisons as it opens at 8am.

You know what's better than going to Morrisons as it opens at 8am?

going to Morrisons as it it opens at 8am - while drunk

You know what's better than that?

There's a special offer on Super Noodles

Simmo just posted a Blog

But since YOU CAN'T COMMENT ON HIS BLOGS - I'm unable to leave a comment saying something like "woah, I just mentioned snooker in my blog less than half an hour ago!!!"


Hmm, maybe that's why he doesn't allow comments.

If Simmo reads this post, then the situation could possibly evolve into some form of blog off. Ive never had a blog off with someone in the next room before, should be good.


I leave you with a Video from Leggat's 'Hair Blair Bunch'

One of those longish posts where I complain about being bored

Snooker is fucking boring - if anyone tells you different then that person is a liar. I'm pretty bored right now - not as bored as when the snooker was on - but bored. I think I might tidy my room. look at how messy it is.


When I typed "tidy" a minute ago, I accidentally typed "tity". It would be humorous if I didn't notice that - or maybe it wouldn't be. I wish Simmo would allow comments on his blog - then I'd be able to comment on the different posts in his blog. I also wish Leggat would update the Flat 14 blog or at the very least start a new blog of his own - then I'd be able to comment on the different posts in his blog.

Ever get the feeling you're repeating you self repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself shitting yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself repeating yourself?

I have a twitter account because it's supposed to be the big new thing but I don't seem to know anyone which kinda goes against the whole point of it.

Ah well, now to kill some time, I might dress up in a suit with sunglasses and pretend that I'm in The Matrix again.