Blogging on my phone

yup, I'm blogging on my phone. Is it because I'm cool and on the edge? No. It's because my laptop went all 558 and broke on me. Not only did it break on me, it broke on me just as I have a load of coursework to do - most of it requiring me to use a computer. Also my earphones have stopped working. It seemed like every thing is subtilly becoming fucked.

At least my blog still wor... Gjjfghjm 558errmgjkijsbnhedfgghjjkbllllllbigoldbendermjjfssgkkklghkkbu

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Jesus - in clothes hanger form!

I was just doing some course work when all of a sudden I came across this...


I loled

Let'sco To Tesco

I haven't had a lot of photos on my blog lately, That's because my phone (with its built in camera) won't charge. No charge = no phone. No phone = no phone camera. No phone camera = no picture of when tesco mistook a 360 version of Assassin's creed 2 for a PS3 version (the opposite of what Jonny D did.). No picture of when... well you get the picture - or not - as the case may be.

Anyway, I bought new deodorant the other night. I chose the stuff I did because it was cheaper than Africa (the deodorant, not the continent) and as it (actually it was still cheaper than the continent - much cheaper than the continent in fact. Ignore that bit about it not being cheaper than the continent of Africa.) turns out, it smelled nicer than Africa too(The deodorant, I've never smelled the continent). I also bought a woolly hat for £3 - just so my ears don't freeze off. that cold weather should be illegal or something.

While I was in Tesco buying hats and deodorant, I saw 2 people down the isle. They looked familiar, in fact they looked a lot like... Holy shit it was Billy and Jonny!. Surprise doesn't really work in the past tense, it just makes it look like I only realised it was them just now. Which I didn't! Jonny was drunk and wanted to be sick in the 'Tesco finest' section. And Billy was... well Billy. He got cigarettes.

It's probably been posted up here before, but here's a picture of Billy smoking...

Ho ho ho-ly shit it's nearly Christmas!

Less that 2 weeks 'till Christmas and I've bought like no presents. I got * **** ***** ****** for ******* and some other stuff for ***** ******. But that's about it. GOOD JOB I LIVE IN THE CITY CENTRE! I can't move for all the shops. Well I can but I usually just move into another shop - usually Debanhams. Google Chrome's spell checker lists "Debanhams" as a spelling error, it offers Clydebank as a possible correction. Stupid internet...

As I type this, I'm watching the snooker semi-final match. O'Sullivan versus Higgans. It's exciting. O'Sullivan just had one of those "ohhh-ahhh" type moments. But then he had a brilliant fluke and potted the yellow.

oooh, Higgans just had a massive miss.

Anyway, I leave you with this piece of brillience.

Enjoy...

DOSing about

I remember being a kid, my parents had a computer with Windows 95 - it was the most amazing thing ever. Well, for the time anyway - it's shite by today's standards. Anyway, I remember my dad had gotten a bunch of floppy disk games on the cheap for some reason. Most of them either didn't work - or were rubbish but there was one game that I played a lot. Probably One of the first games that I played religiously...



Fucking 'Jill of the Jungle'!

Look at that sexy pixelated bitch - she fucks the shit outta Samus Aran!

I'd forgotten the game existed (to an extent) until today when I had a brainwave - I started by searching for "Jane of the Jungle". There's no such thing. Then something saying "Jill of the Jungle" came up. THAT WAS IT! As it turns out, Jill of the Jungle was an early release by Epic - the games company behind Gears of War. They've come a long way.
I decided to download a DOS emulator (because apparently, Command Prompt just isn't good enough) and a freeware version(or was it a shareware version) of Jill Of the Jungle. After a wee bit of re-learning how to open programs using commands, I had the game up and running, it was glorious. All the sound effects where there to remind me of my youth - the high pitched noise fire-birds make when they fly into something, the sinister laughing that happens whenever Jill dies - it's all there. After about half an hour, I'd completed the game. It was totally worth all the hard work. I then went to see what other DOS games were out there for me to get my hands on. I've got a few so far including "a demonstration version of the forthcoming game 'Lemmings' from Psygnosis."

Martin's Messed Up Dreams Vol 8 - Poo in a sink

Probably one of the most messed up dreams I've ever had.

Waking up within the dream, I'm told that in the previous night, I'd gotten very drunk and shat in a sink. It wasn't just any sink, it was a sink in a posh hotel type place. I had to go there and clean it. Everyone there was very nice - considering I did a shit in their sink. Though as it turned out, there was a lot of suspicion that it hadn't been me. I was just a scape-goat! Towards the end, things got strange as a bunch of internet phenomenons that don't actually exist started popping up.

I hope you die you pen-hogging bitch!

So anyway, I was in a lecture the other morning but I didn't have a pen to sign the register with. It was first thing on a Monday morning - I'm not exactly Mr organised am I? So when the girl next to me passed the signing sheet thing I asked if I could borrow her pen so that I could sign it. "No". She fucking said no! What a stuck up bitch! Who the fuck says no to letting someone use a pen to sign their name on a register?!? Did she think I was going to run away with it or something? I mean how can such stuck up cunts make it that far in life?

Maybe she mis-heard me or something and thought I was asking if I could kill her or rape her mum or something. But probably not. I hope her pen kills her or at least leaks in her pockets - that would fucking teach her!

In other news, I have no internet. That's right, I'm blogging in public. It's like I'm fucking French!

(they probably blog in public)

Anyway, it's been great blogging again - even if no one reads this - which is likely to be the case.